At CalmFamily we work according to guiding principles

We often get asked what "kind of parenting" we teach... we don't. No really!

Having a “kind” of “parenting” that we “teach” is not what we are about. We educate and support everyone by providing information, but more significantly by facilitating discovery and demonstrating the calmer relationships that are at the heart of the change we hope to see.

We have a mission and our approach to that mission is entrenched in our values. The community is built upon these values as a foundation, giving us solid ground to ensure we are adding value to society.

We don’t only work with parents, we work with children, young people, professionals and each other too.  Whilst we do use the term parenting, because other people do, we actually prefer not to.  Parenting sounds a lot like something you do to someone.  The role of children becomes lesser when you talk about parenting, as though they are passive. Instead, we promote equality wherever possible, including, in fact especially, in the parent-child relationships that are so fundamental to early development. 

We do not position ourselves as experts or teachers who hold, and can hand out, the answers to all problems. We are trained to help families understand their own needs, their relationships, and their values and goals, and to find ways to meet their needs, balance their relationships, and work towards their goals from within their own values. We support parents to feel empowered to make choices that work for their family, and to use their newly found knowledge to support calmer relationships and lives that better meet the needs of all involved.

Please take a look at a summary of our mission, values, calmer relationships approach, and our vision for the community in the "more about us" menu to find out more.

The calmer relationships concept

To have a better chance of calmer relationships you could:

Collaborate for solutions

we work together with the other person for solutions; problem solving, and maintaining connection through reciprocity and restoration. Rupture and repair is necessary.

Accept what is

we accept the person in front of us as they are, accept ourselves as we are in the moment and accept the situation even if we want to move forward

Learn and grow together

whilst we sit in acceptance, we strive to continue learning in pursuit of growth and ultimately excellence without perfection.

Meet and balance needs

we consciously balance our needs and goals with those of the other person and between short-term and long-term; striving to balance our choices and meet their needs without sacrificing our own.

Empathise always… eventually

we seek to deeply understand and hold space for the other person’s unique perspective, stage of development, support needs, feelings, reactions and thought processes. We may not be capable of empathy in the moment, but it is always possible in time.

Respond with compassion

we seek to respond rather than react, using compassion as our driving force in our interactions and for ourselves when we act in a way that creates a need for restoration and repair.

The calmer approach relies on...

C

Collaboration

A

Acceptance

L

Learning

M

Meeting needs

E

Empathy

R

Response (compassion)