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It’s coming home: football & domestic violence

football domestic violence
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It’s coming home: football & domestic violence

football domestic violence
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Football and domestic violence

football domestic violence

I love the collaboration that the world cup brings, the random hugs from strangers, the joy of communal celebration. It’s awesome. The reality is that so many human beings have no emotional outlet or emotional intelligence; football and the widespread excitement gives an opportunity to project our emotions outward. This is fine if the emotion is happy and collaborative. However, there’s a darker side of football too. It’s not so much fun if it’s anger, frustration or anxiety; often fuelled by a shit load of alcohol, drugs or both. Domestic violence increases by 38% during the major football tournaments, says one stat by a domestic violence charity.

Of course domestic violence is always is there, not just during the football. On my thread in the past few days I’ve seen an ambulance trashed by those celebrating, a girl undergoing a facial operation because of glass thrown during football celebrations. An assault in Saffron Walden, an assault in Ely. I was in a social club yesterday where I overheard the bar lady serving getting a load of verbal abuse. If this is what it’s like when we are winning I dread to think what happens when we lose.

Emotional intelligence and domestic violence

football domestic violence

As a nation we really need to start asking some questions about why so many people are unable to manage their emotions. Why can’t people take responsibility for their actions and choices? What is it that makes people struggle to own their emotion, and not project it onto others? Why must people blame something or someone else for their actions? The football, and the increase in domestic violence that accompanies major tournaments, only highlights a much deeper issue. In our society, we don’t learn to understand, express or manage our emotions in safe ways.


If you are happy, excited, sad, angry or frightened; these are all feelings that will pass. If you can’t manage these feelings without projecting them onto others, or worse, becoming violent, then get some support.

​If you have children then research the meaning of emotional intelligence, learn about it and support them with understanding themselves. Attend a ToddlerCalm course and learn about emotional containment and helping our children learn to manage big emotions. I’m not singling men out here; as girls and woman also need emotional intelligent; however, we must raise boys with emotional intelligence. The future generation need to know it is ok to express emotions and get upset.

When we teach children to suppress their emotions, they grow into adults who suppress their emotions… until they can’t any more. Without support they will not learn to process their emotions. How we support our children now can help to prevent them being triggered, perhaps by football, into to becoming perpetrators of domestic violence in the future. We need to teach our children to manage their feelings, and not to project their feelings onto innocent bystanders, .

By Katie Olliffe, CalmFamily Cambridge & Peterborough

Recommend0 recommendationsPublished in Calmer relationships, Parents & families, Self-regulation
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