Our mission

To provide evidence-based education and individualised support to enable the development of people with calmer brains and relationships, to create a world where humans can lead calmer lives.

Understanding our mission is pretty important, and in some ways, looking at what is not included in this is as important as understanding what is included. 

First, what is the problem we are solving?

We believe that many of the problems facing the world right now come from human beings living and raising other humans in a way that has led to a lack of empathy and equality. In response to changing societies, the way we raise our offspring to adulthood (commonly named “parenting”) has become, in many cases, detached from what is required to meet our needs, and to enable us to thrive. This is unhelpful for our health and development.

A lack of attachment in family relationships, extrinsic reward based motivation tools, and authoritarian family structures lead to the development of brains with overactive threat responses, and underdeveloped skills in empathy, compassion, self-awareness and emotional control. So many adults develop this way that society is built on fear, without compassion for other people, or ourselves. Humans living in this environment are unable to meet their fundamental human needs, so are consistently living with unmet needs; this leads to behaviours that are suboptimal, and often destructive. People strive, in fear, for power over others; they consume in an attempt to meet their needs without understanding what they currently lack; people blame those around them for their fear and pain.

The "only" solution

There are many, many causes that we believe in at CalmFamily and we are willing to campaign for with our last breath, such as, (but not exclusively):

  • Ending rape culture, patriachal dominance, gender stereotyping, and toxic masculinity
  • Ending racism, to create a society in which skin colour is no longer a risk factor for perinatal morbidity, no longer the focus of bullying, discrimination, prejudice, micro-aggressions, or harmful, ignorant assumptions
  • Ending sexism, ageism, childism and ableism, recognising the fundamental equality of all people, not based on their capacity for economic contribution, but on their equal humanity.
  • Ending transphobia, homophobia and all forms of fear and hatred against people for their gender identity, sexual attraction, romantic attraction, or lack thereof. We proactively include all members of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum as clients and colleagues, and include a large number of queer and LGBTQIA+ incididuals in our leadership and consultant team
  • The environment, including animal rights; seeking to create a sustainable organisation that promotes a responsible attitude to our planet
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Financial equality
  • So many more
Fundamentally, we see all of these as entrenched in the problem outlined above. We believe, based on some pretty solid evidence, that if we can educate and support enough people; both families and professionals who impact children directly, or indirectly; who nurture and raise humans with properly developed empathy, emotional intelligence, resilience and compassion; then we can create a calmer and more equal world, generation by generation.

What we do and do not say

It is important to note that we do not advocate any “type” of parenting to achieve this. We do not advocate any single way claiming that it fits all families, or that is ideal.  We support families to identify their needs, and to find strategies to meet those needs that fit their individual culture, and circumstances. There are many approaches to raising humans. We simply offer emotional support, education built upon strong evidence, and principles and frameworks that support parents to create calmer relationships. This means that if, and when, the evidence changes, the information we provide changes too, and our frameworks may be adjusted. It also means that the approach that families take after working with us is unique to them, in that moment. This is fundamentally important to our mission and values.